Quick Thoughts On ‘The Wolverine’

I don’t tend to write or even want to write a bad review of a movie. Mostly because I’d rather write a good review but also because I’m trying to go somewhere with this blog and I’m in the business of Kissing Ass Productions Ltd. But sometimes fanboys just get to me. Case and point: The Wolverine, but, see also: Pacific Rim and Man of Steel. These movies really aren’t very good and I feel like, the people who loved them, are…misguided. We’re all entitled to our opinions, sure, but did we see the same movie? Like, if you saw The Wolverine and loved it – or even enjoyed it – did we SEE the SAME movie? I wanted to like it. I did. And if you did, bless you, because I was counting the ceiling tiles by the time the finale came around. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t with this, or Man of Steel or Pacific Rim. But this is about The Wolverine. 

“But…but… it’s better than Origins!” is what I keep hearing. Ya. It is. But then again, so is almost everything else. The Wolverine is barely a good movie. It’s very okay. It’s also very uneven, dull, poorly written, directed, choreographed and acted (excluding Hugh Jackman who I will never hate on ever). I love the X-Men franchise. It’s my fave. X2 is the best superhero movie ever made (you can yell at me below or contact me on Twitter, or show up to my house because I will fight this). And as much as I love all those things, I can’t pretend The Wolverine is a good movie. It’s not a bad movie, but it’s not very good. AND WHY DO THE WOLVERINE MOVIES HAVE TO HAVE SUCH BAD CGI? WHAT DID HUGH JACKMAN DO TO ANY OF YOU? It’s so frustrating but is it even?

They’ve now made TWO movies for this character. TWO. This second one is basically an apology for the first, but a half assed one. It’s like…hey, sorry about that one but here’s this one which is only okay but good enough for you to forgive us right and then pay to see the next X-Men movie coming out in 2014? This isn’t enough and it’s a disservice to the fans. Again, love James Mangold, love Hugh Jackman but this just doesn’t work and it might have to do with the character. Logan, Wolverine, whatever you want to call him, his story really isn’t that interesting. It’s a nice little origins story, and should work well on it’s own, but it’s been retold several times now. With X1, X2, X3, Origins and now this. How many times are we going to be told about how hard it is to live with claws? I get it. We get it. So maybe stop? Because X2 told the story of Wolverine better than anything else we’re going to get. You know what else the X-Men movies had that helped the telling of this story? A fantastic supporting cast. The Wolverine has nothing else for you to grab onto. It has a fun train sequence though, so, there’s that.

So who is to blame? James Mangold. I think he’s an exceptionally talented director and I loveeeeeeeeeee Walk The Line and 3:10 To Yuma (and Girl, Interrupted of course) but with this and Knight & Day, I don’t know if big budget action movies are his thing.

Oh and the mid-credits sequence? Obviously I loved it.